IT WILL BE COLD. (Seriously.)
I know I am known for my dramatics and hyperbole. Example: it was not just a boring meeting; it was the most soul-numbingly soporific gathering in this history of humanity. I did not simply have to wait twenty minutes in line at the deli counter at Giant; I died in that line having only been teased with the faint whiff of baked meats. And no one noticed, because they had all collapsed too.
It's gloriously-named former All-Pro linebacker Coy Bacon (no relation to the actor Kevin Bacon), who was briefly teammates with Boobie Clark in Cincinnati, making them the wackiest-named duo of teammates in the history of organized activities.But I am serious, you-all: it is going to be cold in the next week. Like, the coldest temperatures of the year. Like, even people from Fargo, North Dakota, would be, like, Oh yah, don't ya know, it's frickin' cold here. I'm goin' home and heatin' up a casserole.
First issue is that we could see some slippery spots tomorrow morning as temperatures get down to the low 20s and untreated surfaces refreeze. It's not a huge hazard, but it could be enough for scattered delays.
Chance of delay Wednesday, 22%
Chance of cancellation Wednesday, 6%
Thursday is cloudy with a few snow showers in the afternoon. Just a coating from this, but we could see some travel issues on the Thursday evening commute.
Friday is the start of that arctic cold I was talking about. We start the day in the lower teens with wind chills in the -5 to -10 range. We only get into the upper teens in the afternoon, with wind chills in the 0 to +5 range.
Chance of cold-weather delay Friday, 16%
Chance of cold-weather cancellation Friday, 3%
Saturday will be overcast and cold (but not quite as cold): highs in the mid 20s and windy (but not quite as windy). Wind chills will be in the teens during the day. Then a blast of arctic holy-shit cold will move in. Lows overnight from Saturday to Sunday will be about 8 with wind chills in the -10 to -15 range. Also, snow is likely on Saturday, but right now it looks like flurries and snow showers that won't amount to much.
Sunday, you've got to be kidding me. The high on Sunday is going to be 16. Really windy too, just for shits and giggles. (Which reminds me of something my Nana used to say, a cautionary proverb, if you will: "It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits." She was a woman of refined expression and profound wisdom.)
Overnight Sunday into Monday, son of a bitch, the actual temperatures are going to get down to -3. Is it still going to be windy, Monsoon? You bet your frozen ass it is. Well then what is that going to do to the wind chills? The wind chills on Monday morning will be -25 to -30.
Monday is only going get into the mid teens (with wind chills around zero). So I think:
Chance of cold-weather delay Monday, 77%
Chance of cold-weather cancellation Monday, 40%
And then Tuesday is another potential storm, but I literally can't even.
Then on Wednesday and Thursday, we punch through the arctic malaise with a tropical blast that will send temperatures skyrocketing into the upper 20s and low 30s.
Stay tuned for updates!