Welcome to Monsoon Martin's brand new weblog!

Weather-Friends,

I am pleased and excited to introduce my very own weblog! I will be working out some of the technical issues here at first, as I'm not sure I even have a complete handle on how this works. Your input and suggestions are vital and well appreciated!

I thought I'd present a vintage Monsoon piece as my first post; it's actually the first "themed" forecast I wrote, way back in January 2005 after I'd predicted a coating of snow and several inches had fallen. Only a handful of you have seen this, because at that time I was only sending reports out to members of the Governor Mifflin English Department. Now my mailing list has grown to a glorious 90 members; those who would like to be added to the list and notified when a new post is...posted, email me at monsoonmartin@gmail.com and let me know.

Without further ado...

Stuart Smalley’s A Daily Affirmation Forecast

25 January 2005

I am an awful human being. I am incompetent at meteorology. I was trying to help people, and I only succeeded in putting peoples’ lives in danger. I’m going to die homeless and penniless, and no one will ever love me.

OK, that’s stinkin’ thinkin’, and I shouldn’t do that to myself. I also should have known that in a moisture-saturated upper atmosphere, the snow totals for last night were bound to be greater than the coating I’d predicted. I should have known I’d be shoveling two inches of snow in my driveway on Monday night. I should have foreseen the treacherous roads this morning and the two-hour delay. I should have been the forecaster you all have come to rely on.

But…now I’m shoulding all over myself. And that’s…OK. Well, no it’s not. It’s not OK to should all over myself, but it is OK to forgive myself for doing so. I own my shoulding. Oh, I’m a mess. I feel myself going into a shame spiral. Where’s the Entenmann’s?

Let me start over. It’s time to let all the regret go and be in the moment. As my Al-Anon sponsor says, I am a human being, not a human doing.

The forecast: snow tonight. Now, now…I know that’s not what any of us wants to hear, but it’s not going to help anything to bury our heads in the sand. Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.

Partly cloudy today with a high of 33. Snow developing late, but mainly after midnight. Low tonight 21. Accumulations by daybreak ranging from 1 to 3 inches.

Wednesday: light snow showers may appear in the morning and early afternoon, but will not produce any appreciable accumulation. What these snow showers will produce, however, is whining from our students, who will want to be sent home early. And as we all know, whining is just anger coming through a very small opening.

High Wednesday, 33; low, 10. I do not feel any of the precipitation Tuesday night or Wednesday will be “mixed”…it should be all snow.

Chance of delay Wednesday, 55%; chance of cancellation, 10%.

Becoming much colder Wednesday night as the skies clear.

Thursday: mostly sunny; high 20, low 3.

Friday: mostly sunny; high 24, low 12.

Saturday: clouds developing, but that’s…OK. Clouds are not bad or good. They just are. High 33, low 25.

Sunday: precipitation moves into the area in the morning, potentially continuing into Monday. At this point, it appears that at least some of this will be “mixed”—rain, snow, and sleet. Conditions Monday could be a bit tricky. It’s difficult to pinpoint amounts and precipitation type this far ahead of the storm. (And that’s…OK. Sometimes we have to put on our fuzzy slippers, curl up on the couch, and pour ourselves a cup of uncertain-tea.)

Whew. This has been a fantastic forecast. And do you know why I was able to produce such a fantastic forecast? Because I’m good enough, I’m smart enough…and doggone it, I can prognosticate super well.

Stuart “Monsoon” Smalley